The entire Marist Women's Soccer team arrived to the game early, anxiously awaiting Jaimie's arrival. Finally, we saw a little girl in the distance sprinting through the crowd.
Jaimie.
We all ran over and lined up for our usual chain of hugs. We directed Jaimie to the highest bleacher seat available in the crowd (her favorite because no one's head was blocking her view) and we watched the first half of the game in smiles. And by watch the game, we mean pretend to watch the game and really just stare at Jaimie the whole time and fight for her attention. We could tell she was a little sick as she was a little less peppy than usual, but she still brought a unique spark to the game. We heard all about her new teacher, how boys still have cooties, how she climbs trees all the time, and how she loves her mom's new iPad.
Before we knew it, the buzzer sounded and it was halftime. That meant it was time for the FOJ ceremony. Jaimie was nervous, of course. Being the center of attention in front of a 500 person crowd isn't even easy for me. But, once she was offered a piggy back ride, she took the fame with no problem. Jaclyn's dad spoke for a while about how supportive Marist has been to the foundation, and then proceeded to welcome a few new adoptees. Jaimie was the star of the event, and led to me instagramming this super cute picture, captioned "our adoptee > yours."
Because she truly is.
Stay tuned for more updates! Remember, live in the moment. Play in the moment.
This is great! I think it's a really good idea to take a blog you've already developed and to keep running with it because not only have you already established your voice, tone, and audience, but you've honed in on the perfect subject matter to fit that audience. I think the background image is effective because it is constantly reinforcing the reason for your blog, the FOJ foundation. I also really like the idea of focusing on Jaimie on her own instead of the entire FOJ foundation because not only do you know her best, but it gives your readers a greater opportunity to develop a better relationship with the main focus of your piece, which will make us eager for more posts and more excited to read them! Overall, I think this is a great blog already, and your first post for this class is incredible.
ReplyDeleteI really like your blog title, Amanda. It is catchy with the two parallel phrases. The way that you echoed the FOJ logo with the blue text also is quite appealing. The FOJ logo in the background allows those unfamiliar with the Foundation to easily research FOJ on the Internet.
ReplyDeleteThe subtitle also helps the reader to understand just what your blog is about, specifying the Marist Women’s Soccer Team and the FOJ adoptee. The black text background creates a neat spin on the classic black-and-white blogs (like mine). The white of the FOJ logo correlates well with the white text, as the black text of the logo correlates well with the black text background. Jaimie’s picture in the top right is adorable, and the caption is very helpful, especially because readers want to know who this special girl is. Its white border echoes the clean white lines next to and above the picture, aside from the background and white text.
The post itself is an adequate length, mixing a concise story with some humorous tidbits. I was chuckling at your parenthetical comment and your recounting of what Jaimie told the team. You capture Jaimie’s personality, and her little quirks will continue to add great flavor to your posts. The Instagram photo, the Instagram tag (text language and all), and ending sentence are very cute. The ending sentence, short and definitive, has a nice snap. The picture really pops with the white border, echoing the earlier picture of Jaimie, the white text, and the white FOJ background. Your tagline at the very end wraps up the story post, making the title stick in the readers’ heads. I look forward to reading your future posts. Great start!
-Christa Cottone
Ok let's give this another shot I hope this comment goes through!!
ReplyDeleteTo start, I really love your blog topic, as I am familiar with the FOJ foundation and think that what your team is doing is absolutely incredible. You girls are changing the life of Jaimie in such a beautiful way and you should all be so proud of that.
I love the layout and color scheme you have chosen to go with. It meshes very well with the logo in the background behind the black which gives for a nice contrast, and is not distracting even though you have an image behind the text. The decision to incorporate blue into the blog text was also a good choice as it really continues the color scheme and makes the whole layout come together.
Your posts are very powerful, whether you may realize that or not. They are inviting, heart-warming and inspirational. You talk to your audience not like a spokesperson for the foundation, but rather a proud family member of Jaimie's. I like the usage of pictures, and details simply describing Jaimie's feelings before the ceremony in front of 500 or so people. It lets the audience get a sense of her young, innocent character without even saying much. I am very excited to follow this blog, keep it up and again, it's so awesome that you guys have given this lovely little girl something to smile about.
-Renee
:)