Sorry Coach, but this throwback is the best part of every college soccer player's life: THE OFF DAY. This is the glorious 24 hour period where the NCAA requires athletes to take a break - I know, I barely knew how to spell the word. Usually, coaches try to squeeze in some sort of team bonding activity that most people hate. Last year, however, it was different.
Coach said we were taking a surprise trip.
Hiking? We guessed, and groaned.
Ugh, maybe it was another "Color Run," also known as "fitness in disguise."
No.
JAIMIE'S HOUSE.
Ecstatic doesn't even begin to cover it. We were like little kids who were just given a snowday. We put on our bathing suits, baked some cookies, and embarked on the hour trip to Westchester to finally see our little girl after a summer apart. We jumped into a caravan of vehicles and finally pulled into Jaimie's driveway honking up a storm. The usual hug-line felt like it was hours long. I've never seen Jaimie so excited.
Instead of being her usual, shy self, she ran up and hugged each and every one of the freshmen - who she had never met before. Our "off day" was probably the least relaxing one we've ever had, but no one dared complain. We loved every second of it. After sitting down for approximately two minutes, feasting away on all the unhealthy snacks, Jaimie chose her first victim. She grabbed our captain by the hand and dragged her, literally, into the pool. The fun began.
Jaimie was permitted to swim while wearing a cap over her scar, so that's exactly what she did. She didn't show any shame, nor should she have. Of course, every time her parents turned around she took the swim cap off, but what else would you expect?
There was volleyball, tag, and Jaimie's own game - Bubble Butt. I would include a video of Jaimie terrorizing our coach up while playing the game, but at the risk of never seeing the field again, I opted for our assistant coach instead... Enjoy!!
So, at the end of the day, after our hot-tub recovery, barbecue, baked goods, roasted marshmallows, and Jaimie's favorite, colored ice-pops, we sadly returned back to Marist leaving Jaimie behind.
It was by far the best off day I have ever had.
I will never settle for a Color Run ever again.
Live in the moment, play in the moment.
You already know via my "getting the chills" during class that I loved this post. It's adorable, and makes me so jealous that I am not athletic enough to be on the team so I can treat Jaimie like a sister to me as well. Your writing really lets readers understand the joy she brings to you and the team as a whole.
ReplyDeleteI like how you incorporated both pictures and a video to make us feel like we were there. Also, I like how you split up the text to keep the audience intrigued and kept it broken up so that it was not all clumped together.
Just a suggestion- maybe you could interview someone else on the team so we can also get another perspective? Or just incorporate some short dialogue? Otherwise, I love where this blog is going and look forward to your next post!!
-Renee
I love your post this week! That you incorporated and redefined “Throwback Thursday” is great. Reading your description of the preseason made me laugh because you are not afraid to tell that audience what typically occurs. I could just see and feel the excitement that you and your team experienced upon hearing that you were going to visit Jaimie. You sound like you are telling me this story in-person; I admire your use of simile, parenthetical comments, questions, and detail. The adorable video of Jaimie allows the audience to see her personality. She clearly embraces you and your team, as the picture even shows. The picture and video serve as nice transitions, especially because the post varies only slightly throughout. Headings would probably present too drastic a shift. I am going to experiment with video because you use it effectively here. The best aspect of your post, though, is your concision. You provide just enough information without overwhelming the audience. The text does not even appear overwhelming, especially with your short sentences and paragraphs. I am definitely going to try to cut down my blog and format it more cleanly. As Renee suggests, interviews or dialogue would definitely make future posts more personal. I would be curious to see what your coaches, Jaimie, or Jaimie’s parents think about Jaimie’s experience with you and your team. Otherwise, great work, and I look forward to reading more!
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I really look forward to reading your posts every week because of how close I feel with Jaimie already. You are so good at transferring your love for her to the words in your blog, and that love really shines through and makes us connect to her and to your story more.
ReplyDeleteThis week's post is especially well-developed because it incorporates something that is widely uses in popular culture: the ever-present #tbt. The story you told was enhanced by your pacing and your paragraph structure, and even more so by the ending video and picture.
For the future, I agree that some dialogue or quotes would further in making your post more personal, but overall I think you're doing great things here!
-Steph